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INTERNAL EXTERIOR
During quarantine, I have to merge down living space and working space together. Causing the disruption in both, I seeks to find a way to compromise the problem. I finds that by reducing the size of the artwork and let go of the thought and just drifted away in the action would helps a lot. Drawing while drinking, watching movie, listening to podcast. Merging down both living and working while also create the artwork without disruption. The result might be slower with a lot of distractions but it is better than not working at all.
ASTHENOPIA
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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Asthenopia is more commonly known as eyestrain or ocular fatigue. It’s a common condition that occurs when your eyes become tired from intense use. Staring at a computer screen for long periods or straining to see in dim light are common causes. During the quarantine I had to stared at the screen on both laptop and smart phone more than I should. Causing my eyes to felt tired and it is getting harder and harder to sleep. It is almost like my cornea were shattered, my sclera darkened and my optic nerve has dried out.
BRAIN FOG 01
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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Brain fog is the inability to have a sharp memory or to lack a sharp focus. You just really feel like you’re not yourself and you’re unable to think clearly.
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The are times when I would used alcohol to calm my minds down during the quarantine. Amidst those time there are some artwork that has emerged from it. Drawing while drinking isn't as easy as I thought, But in some ways it helps me to feel relaxed and calm in each line stroke. My brain is starting to get fuzzy and my hands start shaking. With that I let go of my thought and start drafting the line with my hand not my head. After that I just stop and enjoy the drinks at hand. Then the next day where my conscious is back I would then return to the artwork and continue from those draft.
BRAIN FOG 02
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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I used this method on both 'Brain fog 01' and 'Brain fog 02' where I would draft the line without thinking straight and then comes back to it later to focus on volumes, shadings and contrasts. As I was thinking about the 'brain fog' symptoms, it is reasonable that the picture I visualised would be the brain itself. Surprisingly, in 'Brain fog 02', the end result weren't look very like a brain. To me it has became a mass of thought combining and confusing on top of each other, representing my state of mind at that certain time of drinking.
NICOTINE DEPENDENCE
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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Nicotine dependence occurs when I need nicotine and can't stop using it. Nicotine is the chemical in tobacco that makes it hard to quit. It also produces pleasing effects in my brain, but these effects are temporary. So I reach for another cigarette or in this case, e-cigarettes. Each time I vape in the smoke, there's always that feeling that want to hold it in the throat for more nicotine-pleasure. The feeling of runny throat is always there, the air that is trapped inside might just burst off one day.
PNEUMOTHORAX : Exterior
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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The external side of 'PNEUMOTHORAX' . Where the outer is smooth and calm, concealing the chaos that is happening inside. The cause of the damage is shown yet the effect of the damage is hidden underneath.
MUCOCILIARY DYSFUNCTION
Charcoal on paper, 2020
21.0 x 29.7 cm
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I have recently changed my addiction from cigarettes to e-cigarette(vaping). While it is believed to be better than the normal tobacco, it can still bring harms to the lungs. Specifically, the researchers found that vaping with nicotine impairs ciliary beat frequency, dehydrates airway fluid and creates more viscous phlegm. This "sticky mucus" can get trapped in the lungs, which could leave your lungs more vulnerable to illness and infection. In fact, "mucociliary dysfunction," the technical term for this phenomenon, is a feature of chronic lung conditions such as COPD and asthma. Every time I vaped I felt like the smoke does not come out of my lung. It is trapped inside and circulate deeper into mystery body, effecting my internal organs to distort and transform into something much more vicious.
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